Mom demands dad pay for their 2-year-old to go to daycare when he's paying $900 in child support, and his mother watches him during the workday for free: 'The daycare here would cost about $250-$300 per week'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Sep 13, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Many parents wish their kids' grandparents would take on some babysitting duties. It's challenging for grandparents to play a significant role in their grandkids' lives when they live in a different state or are too old to care for them responsibly when their parents are away. Many grandparents live near their grandkids, but they don't make the effort to see them regularly. It's a sad reality for many families.

If your kids' grandparents want to be a part of their lives, or better yet, take care of them when you're at work, you should be thanking your lucky stars. Daycare is so expensive in literally every part of the country, and if you can bring in two incomes without 90% of one of those incomes going to childcare costs, your young family is going to be well set up for your financial future. You might even be able to afford Disney World!

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  • The mom in this story has been reaping the benefits of her mother-in-law's childcare, but she no longer wants to continue receiving them. She'd rather her ex-husband pay for her toddler to go to daycare than spend time with his grandmother and cousins. Why does she feel that way? There's no way of knowing for sure, but the people of the internet had some guesses.

  • Man in black tank top sitting on black chair
    via Helena Lopes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to pay for daycare for my son with my ex?

    I have a 2, almost 3-year-old son with my ex. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Almost a year ago, I filed for divorce from my ex. We have split custody (50/50). As child support, I pay $900/month plus 100% of all healthcare and education- related costs for our son.
    via u/Due-Kale3735
  • My ex was at home with our son until he was about 10 months old. At that time, she wanted to go to grad school, so we had planned to put our son in daycare. My mom (whom my siblings and I had been supporting) asked if she could watch our son rather than putting him in daycare. My ex was giddy at the idea, but I was a little hesitant because I wanted my
    via u/Due-Kale3735
  • mom to enjoy her retirement. But my mom and my ex very much wanted to do it, so I relented. Plus, my son absolutely loves every moment he gets to spend with his "Mimi." My mom has continued to be the primary caretaker of our son when my ex and I are working.
    via u/Due-Kale3735
  • Elderly lady smiling while standing near kitchen table with dough ingredients on it
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My ex (whom I mostly co-parent with well) wants our son to go to daycare. But my ex cannot afford daycare at all, so she wants me to pay for it. I refuse. Our son still absolutely loves going to his Mimi's house. My siblings have kids that our mom looks after, and so my son gets alot of time with his cousins. My mom still loves doing it. Plus, she was an
    via u/Due-Kale3735
  • educator and is bilingual and is doing an amazing job in that department as well. I check-in with her to make sure she still wants to do it because I do not want her to be overwhelmed. Plus, the daycare here would cost about $250-$300/week. So, I refuse. My ex says this setup makes "my family" have undue influence over our son's development. If that was a
    via u/Due-Kale3735
  • concern, she has never expressed that until now. Plus, why would our son being under the influence of strangers at daycare be better? This has been a point of contention for about the last month. AITA?
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  • A group of small nursery school children sitting on floor indoors in classroom
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • FunJuliax nah you're not the a_h_le your son is happy, well cared for, and safe with your mom who loves it and is qualified your ex cannot afford daycare and it's unreasonable to expect you to pay for something unnecessary when there's already a great arrangement your setup benefits your child and respects everyone involved boundaries around money and care are fair here
    via u/FunJuliax
  • Barely-Behaved52 exactly like ur ex basically saying "i want it but u fund it" nah that's not co parenting that's outsourcing responsibility
    via u/Barely-Behaved52
  • Old-Jury2683 She wants the perks of daycare without the costs, that's not fair.
    via u/Old-Jury2683
  • GoldLow8719 She's trying to shift daycare into your financial obligation when a free, loving, and proven option already exists.
    via u/GoldLow8719
  • No-Caterpillar-5906 Expecting you to pay for something unnecessary shows she's prioritizing convenience over your child's needs.
    via u/No-Caterpillar-5906
  • scootex6643 NTA. Lots of people would kill for their kids to have daily time with grandparents and cousins in a safe environment. That sounds like a huge win for your child, not some influence problem.
    via u/scootex6643
  • unexpectedlytired Both parents trust OP's mom. It's free. She was an educator. She can teach the children another language. There will be socialization. It's a perfect solution.
    via u/unexpectedlytired
  • WomanInQuestion What made your ex suddenly change her mind when she was previously so excited about your mom watching your son?
    via u/WomanInQuestion
  • EfficientSociety73 I'll venture two guesses: 1. She has a new partner who doesn't like how much time "she"spends with the exes family or 2. Her parents feel like exes family gets too much time and they, who probably didn't step up and offer support, don't get enough. So they are guilting her into changing the situation. That's my guesses anyway...
    via u/EfficientSociety73
  • Long-Oil-5681 3 the kids almost ready for preschool and daycare is full of non familia kids, so that child can begin to learn how to make friends he's not related to. 4 OPs mom isnt nice to his ex anymore or the cousins are buying him. 5 something happened at the moms house that she isnt being honest about. The ex feels uncomfortable now because the mom/grandma isnt communicating
    via u/Long-Oil-5681
  • JRae0408 Then the ex should pay for it if she wants it. Why should it be on OP?
    via u/JRae0408
  • kawaeri Truthfully if it is due to op's mom's treatment of the ex (if the relationship is anything but civil) the child should go to daycare and the cost should be split 50/50. If mom is hostile to ex the kid will see this, and then there are the worries of what is being said when ex is not around. Neither parent or adults that are in the child's life should bad mouth the other in the vicinity of the child.
    via u/kawaeri
  • Stinkinhippy NTA. I'd be questioning why this sudden change of mentality though.
    via u/Stinkinhippy
  • berrytreetrunk NTA. Something has happened that she's brought up family. Is anyone on your side bad mouthing her? The child is repeating it to her? And. Or. Does he spend time with her family? Because yes. Mimi and cousins are way better than strangers.
    via u/berrytreetrunk
  • Any-Entrepreneur8819 My guess is that the son is now talking nonstop. So mom is hearing, "Mimi this" and "Mimi that." I took care of my granddaughter. My daughter would be mad if granddaughter cried for Grandma. She saw that at favoring Grandma. I explained it was the same with 2 parents who are together. If the child doesn't like something, she cries out for the other parent.
    via u/Any-Entrepreneur8819
  • Grouchy-Log-3969 You may want to revisit child support and custody since your family is watching your kid during her time and she is not paying for that daycare, therefore you are supporting the kid during that time
    via u/Grouchy-Log-3969

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divorced daycare family drama child toddler toddlers grandma child support divorce family grandmother cousins children cousin exes dad mom
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